I Found the Missing Hamster

Having arisen at the break of dawn, feeling energized, beautiful and zen'ish, I decided to get an early start on my to do list. My aura fades as I quickly traipse to my my work space titled "my desk" and I noted it looked like it had been vandalized! It was covered in multi-colored paper, duct tape, crayons and bits and pieces of paper. I quietly assess the clean up process, draw inferences that my 11 year old had most likely stayed up busily crafting and drawing at my desk and I begin my duties of eradication of last nite's party at my desk.

The peripheral also contained evidence that my desk area was also visited by my daughter's side kick "Jo Jo Elizabeth". He is a terrier, Jack Russell mix that we smartly purchased from the Amish for a whopping $25.00. This particular investment has now cost us almost $6,000 in damages to our home. The Jo-Jo debacle is a source of great contention in my home. He is ruthless, egocentric and perpetually canine incontinent. His repertoire surely would now contain the adjective, bulimic murderer.

My shoulders sag and that fresh, purple hue of a glowing, energetic peaceful aura, changes to defeat and annoyance! I now must contend with two piles of poo swirled with puddles of urine, creating a patina and texture of grey poupon mustard. How could this be? I ask myself and do a mental checklist of everything I ever did wrong in my life and NO nothing comes up in the registry as karmic punishment of this caliber!

Is there no personal space for moms? Is nothing sacred?

I now have my desk restored and my inertia and I are almost back to zen. All papers are collected, piles are neatly arranged, poop is picked up and the deck is swabbed, shiny and urine free! Alas, I now finalize this moment with a desire for a second cup of coffee and smile and grin at my silliness over losing my beautiful purple aura! I am a mommy of 3 year old terrier and 11 year old girl - what do I expect after all? Perfection? nahhhh!!!! they are cute and adorable play friends and they hang out and all is good in the world!

Peace and tranquility restored, all soilings removed I commence my quest for congratulatory coffee and busily and hastily make my retreat for the kitchen. I stand up... my feet are not feeling right, my toes are squishy? I do a quick mental assessment of my biology, thinking surely my "feet have failed me." I wish I knew my NANDA's! I panic - What syndrome have I acquired? What would make one's toes feel squishy and wet? Do I need psychotropics after all? Have I finally gone over the deep end and why? I bend down for visual acuity only to discover the answer...

I found the missing hamster! Or rather Jo Jo serial murder found her first! I forgot that our dear little friend Nikita decided to go on an adventure and she ran away from her aquarium home 3 days prior! She crawled up the water bottle when the lid was removed and went on a safari! She was found beyond description and I can only hope and pray her departure was swift and merciful. Clearly there was a form of mastication and bulimia shenanigans as well. As a final insult to injury all 200lbs of my body mass now stood on her and was appropriately spread between my left toes. I shall spare my audience of further details, however, but do make a mental note of a learning lesson in the future that my entire my desk and its surroundings are off limits to dogs, hamsters and 11 year old girls!

... RIP - Nikita the dwarf hamster 1/28/12, we will always love and miss you...